Drill Baby Drill

Ummmm...what did you think she meant?

Thanks for the Father's Day gift kids!

Fun in the Sun!

I'm in the middle of a great week, vacationing in sunny Utah! After spending a day with Katie, Claire, and Joseph, we left Sarah in Provo for the week at BYU to study with a potential music professor (if Sarah gets accepted into the program next year), and then Lisa and I headed off for Moab. We met sister Rebecca and her husband Todd there and explored Arches national park. Later we went on a 25 mile boat ride down the Colorado River and saw more of the park you can't see any other way--very cool. The photo above/left was taken from the boat.

Then we headed further south to St. George. We're staying at "Seven Wives" bed and breakfast, which is directly across the street from Brigham Young's former home. Last night we drove around the area looking at homes for sale, just to get an idea of prices should we decide we need to live in a warm dry climate some day. Prices are great but...there's a lot of red dirt here! And the landscaping is red, and the houses are red, and...you have to really like red.

BTW, after auditioning, Sarah was third chair in the "Masters" section (out of a group of a dozen or so flautists) and they will put on a concert this weekend.

We're driving back to Provo today (hope it's not so windy...on the drive down we encountered winds that were clocked in some places as high as 74 mph!).

The picture below shows a guy climbing "Wall Street". Crazy!

Salty Newcomers

Latest additions to the aquarium. Hoping the clown fish will introduce herself to the anemone! The coral banded shrimp immediately staked out a territory and began fiercely defending it... Need help in naming these two, any suggestions?

Dory Bowerman

I added a blue tang to the aquarium yesterday. She (aren't all blue tangs female and named Dory?) seems to be doing well and holding her own at feeding time with the yellow tang, the clown fish, and the Humuhumunukunukuapua'a. She's crazy about kelp, but also liked the shrimp and peas I tossed in.

The Iron Raccoon

Sarah: Hey, something smells really bad in my closet.
Lisa: Let's go get a ladder and check it out.
Sarah: Dad, where's the ladder?
Rich: In the garage.
Sarah: (gives Rich the hairy eyeball--she doesn't want to have to go get it)
Lisa: Rich, come see if you smell anything.
Rich: What? (thinks to himself: what a lovely family activity)
Rich: Ooooh, that's bad. You have a dead animal in here.
Sarah: See, I told you. But that's not what's making that noise...?
Rich: Right. Dead animals don't make any noise. (Sarah starts to snicker)
Rich: You'll have to take everything out to find it.
Sarah: What?
Rich: You heard me.
Lisa: I don't smell anything. (Sarah is in a state of disbelief)
Rich: Then maybe you should be the one to take everything out.
At this point, Sarah is laughing. Rich starts to laugh also. The laughter gets out of control.
Rich: It's probably a dead raccoon.
Sarah: What?
Rich: That got in through the basement door that was left open all night.
Sarah: What? Is that why the alarm wouldn't set last night?
Rich: (more hysterical laughter) Maybe. (tears are flowing)
Sarah: How long has it been open?
Rich: (almost unable to communicate through the laughter and tears) I'm sure it hasn't been open more than two weeks.
Sarah: Why didn't you close it last night?
Rich: I knew I was safe now that you guys are back home from Utah.
Lisa: (gives Rich the hairy eyeball) You guys are bad.
Rich: Wow, what is that smell? Oh, is that your iron? (Sarah is about to fall off the bed from laughing so much) Just kidding, I don't smell a thing (runs away as Lisa is about to throw the hot iron at him)

Crazy Good

It just doesn't get any easier than this: Take some fresh shredded parmesan cheese (you can buy it already shredded) and drop it into a heated non-stick skillet (or a regular skillet sprayed with non-stick stuff). Just make a lacy pattern with the cheese, just two or three shreds thick. Let it cook until it gets golden-brown and crispy. You can cook on one side or both.

That's it! You're done! Now just eat it. This is really good with soup or salad. Try it in place of bread. I first had this in a Nordstrom's restaurant with a ceaser salad. It can also be broken into pieces and used in place of croutons. Why didn't someone tell me about this earlier?

Masterful

Ok, so I'm no music aficionado, but I do love good music. For Valentine's Day, Lisa and I went to the symphony. The St. Louis Symphony Orchestra was playing "romantic favorites" (collective aaahhhh, please).

Unbeknownst to us, there was a featured violinist on the program, one Viviane Hagner. Ms. Hagner, it turns out, is quite the virtuoso, in my humble opinion. With no music in front of her, she played non-stop for about 20 minutes. And the music she was playing, Mendelssohn's Violin Concerto in E minor, op. 64, was quite complex. I think the rest of the orchestra was quite challenged to keep up, even with the music in front of them. How could she do this? The practice, the hours, the mental focus--all just incredible to think about. And then--the quality of the sound--it was just exquisite. As I was sitting there, I was thinking to myself what incredible timbre that violin had. I'm not a huge fan of the violin, actually, only because most violinists don't reach the level of mastery that makes it a beautiful-sounding instrument to me. That's just me, I know I'm in the minority here. Anyway, there's no doubt this was the finest sounding violin music I have heard.

As we looked closer at the playbill, we realized this master musician wasn't playing just any old violin. She was playing a real Strativarius! Yes, the real deal, made in 1717! It was on loan to her from the foundation that owns it. Lisa and I tried to guess what something like that would be worth. We really had no idea, but guessed maybe a million dollars. I looked it up on the internet today, and it said that Strativarius' "golden period" was between 1700 and 1720; the few documented violins he crafted during that period can be worth several million dollars. Just incredible! I feel very lucky to have had an opportunity to experience this combination: a master, playing a masterpiece, on a masterpiece!

Pop Quiz

1) Photo number 1 is:
A) A look behind the scenes of the set for Superman's Ice Palace
B) Star Wars' Death Star inner workings
C) A high school physics experiment gone awry
D) _______________________________


















2) This is an actual photo of
A) Mitosis (cell division)
B) The sun, weeping over global warming
C) Something we don't talk about in polite company
D) _____________________________


3) Click on the photo to see:
A) Leaking electrons from satellite cables
B) The reason the refrigerator icemaker doesn't work
C) Variation on Chinese water torture techniques
D) _________________________________



















4) These vertical structures are:
A) Part of Rich's latest project at work
B) Nuclear fuel rods stolen from the set of "24"
C) Electron microscopy of the printed circuit board in a modern computer
D) ________________________________













Donations are being taken for repairs to all the above. Between the $200 surcharge plus double time for Sunday work, this was a really big ouchie.

Photos of Claire

I'm going to jump right off this highchair and grab that jar of baby food and then I'm going to...













It's not clear who had more fun--Claire playing in her little house, or Grandma building it!
















Like Mother (age ~16), Like Daughter























No, really, Grandpa. I do not know who made this mess.





Claire visits Grandpa at his work office

Simply Blue

It was a cold, snowy night. The howling wind drove wind chill temperatures below zero. But the proud blue crane, undaunted, was still standing at daybreak, at the ready for any task it might be called upon to perform.

Pot Luck Almost Sent Me To Jail

We had a pot luck lunch at work in mid-December. We don't do a lot of pot lucks, but this year we didn't have our normal Christmas party at a restaurant, so the pot luck was a good alternative. I chose to make a cheesecake. It was only my second attempt, but it turned out well and I got lots of compliments on it.

I had taken a knife from home to cut it with--a huge knife, about a foot long. After lunch, I just stuck the knife in my briefcase and forgot about it. That was December 17.

As I prepared to go on vacation, I packed my briefcase with the things I wanted to take with me to Florida--paperwork, a book, reservation information, all the usual stuff. I didn't see the knife in the bottom of one of the briefcase slots; it had sort of nestled itself into a fold of the fabric and was covered up by folders and papers.

When Lisa saw me packing, she persuaded me to lose the briefcase and just pack everything into a suitcase that had some extra space. I really wanted to take the briefcase because it had all sorts of things in it that I regularly need, such as my electronic password key, mints, coins, money, pens, pass-along cards, and so on. But I was taking my camera as a carry-on, plus a carry-on roller bag, so I really didn't have a choice to take a third carry-on. I moved the essentials to the suitcase and off we went to the airport.

Went to Florida, came home, transferred things back to the briefcase, and went to work today. As I was taking things out of the briefcase to get them back into their proper places in the office, I spied the knife, in the bottom of the briefcase. No big deal, until I realized how close I came to trying to get the briefcase (with the knife) through airport security. Oh my gosh! How would I have explained a 12" knife that looked like I was trying to hide it while attempting to get past security? With all the heightened security of late, can you imagine what they might have done to me? I'm guessing 30 years at hard labor in Sing Sing. With no cheesecake on the menu.

Baptism

I attended the baptism of a friend yesterday, Norman Wall. Immediately after the baptism and confirmation, the bishopric member who was conducting asked, "How do you feel?" Norman thought for a moment, and then responded, "Like a huge burden has been lifted. I feel terrific."

I think that was the perfect answer, because it so defines the effect of the Atonement. Those who apply for relief, receive it from the Savior. His healing power takes away the oppressive weight of sin, of mistakes, of errors, large and small. This incredible gift is available to all, but can only be obtained through Jesus Christ. Thank you Norman for reminding us all of why we are followers of the Master.

The Slingshot

Unbelievable! So there's this crazy ride, or attraction, I'm not sure what to call it, in Orlando, called The Slingshot. And it's just what it sounds like. You are the rock in the webbing of a real slingshot. Folks, this thing is huge. You wouldn't believe it if I didn't show you pictures. The two forks of the slingshot extend 300 feet into the air. Through the innovative use of a bank of springs, you are launched at a very high velocity. You land somewhere near Cape Canaveral, I think. We're still looking for Lindsay and Sarah. Yes! My two timid girls, the ones you would never think would get on something like this, begged and pleaded to get on. I have multiple shots below showing them being launched (you can see them all on Facebook). I just hope we find Sarah prior to leaving on Wednesday or she will be in big trouble at school.

Bahama Breeze and Blue Men

We did a deal with Hilton: for an hour of our time, they would give us a continental breakfast and a discount on four tickets to see some men who shave their heads and paint themselves with blue paint. I've never seen men painted in blue outside of Lavell Edwards Stadium so it seemed like a good deal. The hour turned into an hour and half, and the breakfast was pretty low-budget, but it was a pretty low-key affair.

We were going to go to an outlet mall but the traffic was so bad we only advanced 1 mile in 1/2 hour, so we turned around and went to a place called Bahama Breeze. We had yummy drinks, and I ordered their special which was shrimp cooked with bacon, garlic butter, mushrooms, and hollandaise sauce, on a bed of cheesy grits. I wasn't so sure about the grits but the server assured me it was good, and it was. We were all too stuffed to eat dessert but we ordered anyway and just brought it home. I had this chocolate cake thing with a gooey chocolate center, topped with butterscotch, rasberry (which I left off), and whipped cream. I shouldn't need to eat again for several days.

All Fogged Up

So I woke up at 2:30 a.m. this morning (nothing unusual for me). I've just been in a weird sleep pattern for months. I typically get up and go sit in my recliner, which seems to help with the back pain I often experience. I record certain programs to watch when I get up since there's not much on at 2:30 in the morning besides vacuum cleaner, vitamin, and cooking device commercials. Maybe I should pay a little more for some better channels.

Our shades have all been taken down from our bedroom windows due to serial failure of the roller mechanisms. We probably need to put some sheets over the windows or something till we get new window treatments. Anyways, with nothing covering the windows, I could see outside in three directions. Check that, I COULDN'T see outside in any direction. There was this incredibly dense fog! How strange for this time of the year, especially when it was below freezing, I thought to myself.

So I stumbled into the bathroom to find a water bottle, attempting to soothe my parched throat. That's when I realized this fog was so thick, it was even inside the house! Now, I don't think too clearly at 2:30 in the morning. It's just all I can do to get Judge Judy or Dragnet reruns working. But even in this stupor of thought it seemed strange to me to have fog inside the house. Did we leave a door open? Is the fog coming from outside into the house, or is it being created inside the house and fogging up the whole neighborhood? Has my new protein skimmer on the aquarium gone crazy? Is this the reason the fridge went on the blink this weekend? See what my engineer brain conjures up? Folks, I deal with this all the time. It's a real burden.

Not to worry, though, without much more delay I was able to go through just a few more scenarios in my mind before coming across the real answer: I had fallen asleep with my contacts in, and I guess with closed eyes and no blinking, they fogged up. Popped them out and I was back to sleep in about 17 milliseconds. Judge Judy and Sergeant Friday will have to wait another day.

22 Million Emails--Found!

News flash! It has just been reported that the 22 million Whitehouse emails, missing since President George W. Bush left office, have been found!

"I was just cleaning", said Shelly O'bama, "and I pulled out this moldy box from under the bed, and there they were.

"I'm sure that woman must not have cleaned under the bed the whole time she lived here" said O'bama, eyes flashing. "How can people live like this?"

"It's a monumental task" to go through all these emails, according to newly established Federal Bureau of Emails (FBE) spokesperson Billy Gates, "but we're determined to read each and every one. Who knows what we'll find?" While not returning phone calls, we have inside information that several late night talk show hosts have been contacted by FBE officials to help sort through the rubble.

Many have likened this discovery to that of uncovering a lost civilization. Others say it's more like burrowing into a modern garbage dump. In either case, one thing is clear: liberals everywhere should be able to sleep better now.

Angels In The ER

As I was trudging through the airport on my way to Corpus this week, this book caught my eye. I rarely buy books in the airport because they are so expensive there, but I really needed something to read and this one looked intriguing. I highly recommend it! It's easy reading, and in fact I had finished it before my 2-day trip to Texas was over. But it's filled with great stories of real-life situations in the emergency room. Nothing yucky--it's not about the injuries, it's about human drama and the human condition as seen through the eyes of a sensitive and spiritual-minded doctor. I'm not saying it's going to win a Pulitzer, but it is very thought-provoking.

The place where I bought the book had a nice offer--return the book within six months and they'll buy it back at 50 cents on the dollar. But this is one I probably won't return--I think I'll keep it in my library for you to read when you're here!

Heard in Testimony Meeting

Always fun to listen to children in testimony meeting. Today I heard two amusing comments: 1) "And I love daddy, because I have to"--Sierra, and 2) "I know it took millions of people to build the Nauvoo temple"--Brooke. One never stops learning in the church!

Pinus Edulis

Growing up in Nuevo Mexico, one of life's simple pleasures was snacking on piñons. Piñons (pronounced pin-yawns) are a particular variety of pine nut, with a very distinctive flavor, and in my opinion, the New Mexico variety are the very best in the world.

Pine nuts are kind of like sunflower seeds in that they are very addictive. Once you start eating them it's hard to stop. But they take about 10 times longer to shell than a sunflower seed, and you have to work really hard to ensure no shell remains with the meat, so many people don't have the patience to endure a healthy piñon habit.

When I was in Utah a couple of weeks ago, I was very excited when I saw a street vendor selling baggies of pine nuts. I shelled out eight bucks for a 1/2 pound. When I got them home, I realized they weren't roasted. So I popped them in the oven for about 1/2 hour. But when I tried them, they were...well...ok, but not great. You see, they were just pine nuts, they weren't New Mexico piñons. Rats!

So you can imagine my excitement when a birthday package arrived from my sis Rebecca, containing a baggy of roasted NM piñons. Yipee! I'm snackin' out on these. They are so good!

What Color is RhinoVirus?

When I went to the urgent care clinic last week, the nurse had a series of questions for me. You know, the usual embarassing stuff.
Nurse: How much do you weigh?
Answer: Sigh.
Nurse: How tall are you?
Answer: Same as when I was here last time.
Nurse: Why are you here?
Answer: Because I'm sick.
Nurse: What are your symptoms?
Answer: (cough, sneeze, hack) I have a cold.
Nurse: Is your nose running?
Answer: Uh, yeah (sniff)
Nurse: What color is it?
Answer: My nose?
Nurse: No, the stuff running out of your nose.
Answer? Can't you see it?
Nurse? No, you keep blowing it before I can get a good look.

At this point I'm wondering what school this nurse went to, if she has to ask what color my nasal discharge is. Same color as everyone else's, I suppose. I don't know! Am I supposed to look inside my used tissues?

Answer: I don't know, I'm partially color-blind.
Nurse: The doctor's going to have trouble helping you if you don't cooperate.
Answer: Tell you what, just give me a cherry-flavored placebo and I'll be on my way.
Nurse: Now we're getting somewhere. $30 co-pay, please. And just get some over-the-counter cough drops, they're actually better-tasting than anything we have around here.

In the interest of helping this nurse, who I am sure was just doing her job, I include above an actual photo of a typical rhinovirus particle. I hope it will help her diagnose others in the future.