Sunday, April 4, 2010

Dory Bowerman


I added a blue tang to the aquarium yesterday. She (aren't all blue tangs female and named Dory?) seems to be doing well and holding her own at feeding time with the yellow tang, the clown fish, and the Humuhumunukunukuapua'a. She's crazy about kelp, but also liked the shrimp and peas I tossed in.

The Iron Raccoon


Sarah: Hey, something smells really bad in my closet.
Lisa: Let's go get a ladder and check it out.
Sarah: Dad, where's the ladder?
Rich: In the garage.
Sarah: (gives Rich the hairy eyeball--she doesn't want to have to go get it)
Lisa: Rich, come see if you smell anything.
Rich: What? (thinks to himself: what a lovely family activity)
Rich: Ooooh, that's bad. You have a dead animal in here.
Sarah: See, I told you. But that's not what's making that noise...?
Rich: Right. Dead animals don't make any noise. (Sarah starts to snicker)
Rich: You'll have to take everything out to find it.
Sarah: What?
Rich: You heard me.
Lisa: I don't smell anything. (Sarah is in a state of disbelief)
Rich: Then maybe you should be the one to take everything out.
At this point, Sarah is laughing. Rich starts to laugh also. The laughter gets out of control.
Rich: It's probably a dead raccoon.
Sarah: What?
Rich: That got in through the basement door that was left open all night.
Sarah: What? Is that why the alarm wouldn't set last night?
Rich: (more hysterical laughter) Maybe. (tears are flowing)
Sarah: How long has it been open?
Rich: (almost unable to communicate through the laughter and tears) I'm sure it hasn't been open more than two weeks.
Sarah: Why didn't you close it last night?
Rich: I knew I was safe now that you guys are back home from Utah.
Lisa: (gives Rich the hairy eyeball) You guys are bad.
Rich: Wow, what is that smell? Oh, is that your iron? (Sarah is about to fall off the bed from laughing so much) Just kidding, I don't smell a thing (runs away as Lisa is about to throw the hot iron at him)

Play These Songs at my Funeral